Butter mellow, alohomora
by antisocialgod
Summary: "That's not—" throwing her hands up in defeat, Rachel sighs and sends a glare towards Quinn. "You're such a Slytherin."


**Title:** Butter mellow, alohomora.  
**Author:** That's My Pen  
**Rating:** PG13  
**Pairings:** Rachel/Quinn, Brittany/Santana.  
**Length:** 1874  
**Spoilers:** Quinn is pregnant, did you know? And also, kind of major spoiler to the 'Vampire Academy' series. And some to Harry Potter and THBP.  
**Summary:** _"That's not—" throwing her hands up in defeat, Rachel sighs and sends a glare towards Quinn. "You're such a Slytherin."_  
**Disclaimer:** Everything you recognize is not mine.  
**Author's note:** This is mostly inspired by inthehat's discussion at _tumblr _of which house in Hogwarts the Glee characters would be sorted, and it just mixed with a few theories I had in my mind and this is the result. Also, this is my first Faberry fic! So yeah, bear with me please. Oh! And English is not my first language, and this is not beta-d so all the mistakes are mine. I hope you can read past them!

* * *

If anyone asks, they probably won't be able to tell how the four girls ended up in Rachel's bed, all tangled up in each other – because really, how else could they all fit there? - and completely focused on the TV screen, watching nothing less than _Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince_. Yeah, and if you take in consideration the fact that _Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone_ had been the start, you can probably tell that they'd been stuck in that room for quite some time now.

Obviously, Santana wasn't the one who chose the way they would spend the day. She was adamant in her opinion that if she had to be stuck inside a room all day, then she had better be doing something _worth it_, and well, safe to say that a movie marathon isn't exactly what she had in mind when those words were uttered. Sure, she is a closeted Potter nerd; they all are, otherwise they wouldn't be doing that, but out of the four, she is certainly the most _controlled _one, so to speak. But when Brittany said that she really wanted to see the cute owls – that are not as cute as ducks, but still – Santana was a goner.

Rachel is the one who owns the DVDs. Well, the ones they're watching, at least, because in all honesty, they all have their own collection back home. Quinn's one even holds a t-shirt, a scarf and a wand, but if you ever come across it, she will go to her grave swearing it's not hers, so they don't even bother to mention it. In courtesy, she pretends to pay no attention to the Hogwarts uniform Rachel has inside her closet, or Santana's small golden snitch, or even Brittany's Hufflepuff bed set. It's an unspoken agreement between them that those particular belongings aren't supposed to become common knowledge, and they have to protect each other's secret, because otherwise they know people like Kurt and Mercedes will have a blast teasing them. Rachel thinks she's been teased enough for dating Quinn, among other things; she doesn't need to add more to that ever-growing list.

The whole thing might have been Quinn's fault. Not entirely, though. Really, she thinks it's all Rachel's fault, because if the DVDs weren't in sight to begin with, she never would've been holding one in her hand, and Brittany wouldn't have said something about the owls, and Santana wouldn't have agreed to the whole thing. So really, she blames it all on Rachel, but it doesn't really matter because they all ended up agreeing. And now there is food all over Rachel's bedroom, and her parents keep bringing more and more, and Quinn honestly thinks that the amount of food she's been eating is going to squeeze Drizzle inside her stomach, but she just can't seem to control herself anymore, and really, if the baby is uncomfortable she can always start kicking, right? So she thinks she's safe for the time being, and continues to stuff food inside her mouth, much to Rachel's amusement and Santana's disgust.

"You're planning to explode anytime soon?" the latina asks, rolling her eyes as Quinn swallows on a mouthfull of Cheetos and takes a sip of her diet Coke.

"She's _pregnant_, Santana." Rachel remarks, as if her friend didn't know that, her eyes still focused on the screen in front of them.

"Yeah, S." Brittany agrees, her voice muffled because of the way her head is resting on her girlfriend's shoulder. "She has to feed baby D. I don't want her to be born with Cheetos' face just because you didn't let Quinn eat them when she wanted."

Santana sends Rachel a puzzled look, but the brunette just shrugs, so she sighs and places a small kiss on Brittany's forehead, who, in turn, moves closer and grips Santana's waist tighter. "You're right, baby." the latina agrees, and then turns to Quinn, a smirk in place. "You can eat all you want, Q."

"I plan on it." Quinn replies, not even slightly fazed by Santana's remark, her eyes never moving from the screen where one Ginny Weasley is making a move on one Harry Potter. Rachel jumps a bit when Quinn snorts – _actually _snorts – and rolls her eyes, before swallowing her food and saying, "How _pathetic _is that scene? He's like, way shorter than her, and honestly it's stupid because he's supposed to have gone through his growth spurt already, but apparently he forgot to do that. Seriously, they are ridiculous together."

"But you're judging their relationship based on the actors who portray them!" Rachel argues, and Quinn can notice that she's getting worked up about the whole thing, because she's a firm believer that Harry and Ginny belong together and Quinn is definitely not having that. "You can't deny they are meant for each other and that it's been implied from the very beginning that it would be like that, even if they had their fair share of bumps in the way. Of course, the fact that Daniel is shorter than Bonnie is a little ridiculous, but you have to remember that this is only an adaptation and in the books he's taller than her and this happens in a whole other different scenario--"

"She's just saying that because Draco and Ginny are her OTP." Santana interrupts, and she can notice Quinn glaring at her, and Rachel's mouth opening and closing like a fish.

"OTP?" Brittany asks, confusedly.

"One true pairing," Rachel responds automatically, before turning to Quinn. "Ginny and Draco? _Seriously_?"

"What?" Quinn huffs, raising an eyebrow at her girlfriend and Santana snickers at the whole exchange, her attention diverted from the movie.

"_Ginny and Draco_, Quinn?" Rachel is having a hard time grasping the knowledge that her girlfriend would root for a pairing that has no future at all, and it's really stupid that one would think that because, hello, enemies and all, you know? "But that's stupid! They hate each other. Their families hate each other. His _father _is the reason Ginny almost died!"

"Now, now, I would really like if you stopped bashing Lucius Malfoy." It surprises her that Quinn's face is deadly serious when she says that, so the brunette takes a few deep breaths and tries to hold her tongue for a few seconds because she's sure otherwise things will blown out of proportions. "And, honestly baby, you should know that enemies make the best lovers." She winks at Rachel and the brunette is slightly taken aback by the action to find a way to properly respond to that.

"Okay, way too much information, Q." Santana remarks, rolling her eyes at the blonde, but her playful tone shows Quinn that she's actually amused by the whole thing.

Brittany chimes in a moment later, her voice clear and confident, a small smile playing on her lips, "I think best friends make the best lovers."

"_Anyway_," Quinn continues, taking another sip of her diet Coke, and turning to Rachel again. "They are like Romeo and Juliet. Buffy and Spike. Strigoi!Dimitri and Rose Hathaway; they're not _supposed _to be together, but that doesn't stop their love stories to become something out of epic proportions. And really, you can totally see the sexual tension there. It's like they fight with each other to hide their true feelings. Not to mention the fact that Draco was in Hogwarts all his seventh year, and Ginny was there too, all alone and sad. He's hotter than Harry, as well. Not to mention _taller_."

"That's not—" throwing her hands up in defeat, Rachel sighs and sends a glare towards Quinn. "You're _such_ a Slytherin."

"And damn proud!" Quinn agrees with a grin, before moving to place a small peck on her girlfriend's mouth. "And you're my ex-nemesis, turned girlfriend, who clearly belongs in Gryffindor. We're like Draco and Ginny ourselves!"

"Did you just compare us to a non-canon couple that for all intents and purposes completely despises each other?" Rachel asks, eyebrow raised, and arms crossed over her chest.

Santana laughs. "Way to go, Q."

"I'm trying to make you see the reason why I ship them, Rachel!" the blonde exclaims, a bit frustrated with how thick-headed her girlfriend can be sometimes. "They're _meant _to be."

"Ugh, you're such a disgrace to our great house." Santana says, faking a gag and making Brittany smile. "This whole lovey-dovey act doesn't belong in Slytherin. Stop embarrassing us."

"You're the one to talk," Quinn retorts, nodding towards Brittany, "you girlfriend is a self-proclaimed _Hufflepuff_! Talk about a disgrace to Slytherin."

"Hufflepuffs are misunderstood." Brittany says and Santana nods by her side, though Quinn and Rachel can tell its just to make the blonde cheerleader happy because if there's one thing they're sure, is that Santana thinks Hufflepuffs are completely useless, except for the fact that Brittany seems convinced that she would find herself there, so she takes all in stride and – unlike Quinn and Rachel – doesn't get in an argument about the ups and downs (or more like downs, really) of that particular house.

"I don't want to take sides here, baby, but I would think that dating a _Gryffindor _is worse than dating a Hufflepuff." Rachel points out, and Quinn's lips turn into a pout as she turn to face the small brunette. "And why am I in Gryffindor, anyway?"

"It should be proof enough of what I'm willing to do just to be with you, Rachel." The movie has long faded to the background, and the four of them completely engrossed in the discussion. Quinn even stopped eating. "And you're in Gryffindor because you're brave, focused and you fight for what you believe."

"Okay, seriously Quinn, I'm about to kick you off of Slytherin."

Quinn decides to ignore the remark and focus on Rachel again. "You should be happy, our love story has the potential to be epic."

"_Okay_, time to go, B!" Santana exclaims, jumping off the bed and pulling her girlfriend with her. "We know where this will end, and honestly I'm feeling like we need some Slytherin/Hufflepuff _bonding _time, if you know what I mean."

"I don't," Brittany replies honestly, but shrugs her shoulders and moves to link her pinkie with Santana's, both of them making their way towards the door. "And Rach, Q is right. They just fight because they want each other. Look where it got you two."

And before any of them can say anything, the cheerleaders are both out the door, leaving Rachel and Quinn alone.

"Come here," Quinn says, a mischievous grin on her face, as she pulls Rachel closer by the hem of her shirt. "I'm gonna show you how enemies make the best lovers and you'll see I'm totally right."

Rachel complies, the movie on the screen long forgotten and the previous discussion suddenly fading to the back of her mind.

She thinks maybe they should get into those arguments more often.


End file.
